Секој крај е нов почеток
I decided to take a (very much needed) break to calibrate and pull myself together.
And I didn’t know how long it will take me to be ready to write and provide resources again for all the special parents out there.
It turned out that 3 weeks was enough, for now.
A few days ago, I felt an impulse that I would feel better if I “get back to work”. There are two reasons for that. One is that I really am engaged with so many of you. I see your struggles, and I know your questions. And I feel very eager to answer them to you. The other reason is a very obvious one – I will keep myself busy. Distruction from our thoughts (when they are not so pretty) is always a good idea.
As you know from my social media, my daughter, Joana, the part of my soul, my inspiration, and my teacher, is now flying with the angels. On November 4th, she joined heaven.
In this article, I will sum up what that means to me, how I’ve looked at her, how I am still seeing the same, and how I will continue my work regarding providing special parents’ resources.
First of all, I want to acknowledge the fact that all these years of personal development kind of gave me the solution
before the problem.
I am so aware of the fact that everything I read, and every motivational video I watched, and every teacher I went to helped me feel peace and gratitude even in times like this.
Besides all my positivism and willingness to go everywhere in the world where I thought she had more chance, deep down inside, I knew that there may come a time when she will decide to finish this Earth-journey and go beyond.
Because I understood well that it’s not up to me only to be positive and optimistic, and that’s all it takes to cure my child. I was consciously positive and optimistic to provide good energy around her. To help her feel at ease. But I knew I can’t do anything about her soul plan to be as she is, to stay as long as she wants, and to experience all she experienced.
Also, it came like a solution before the problem, the knowledge that our children are not really our children. They come through us not for us but for the purpose of life itself. And they have their own path and intention.
That’s why, besides the tremendous sadness and pain of her physical absence, I feel so much peace, knowing that she decided way earlier than it actually happened, what her mission is and when that mission will be complete.
I am forever grateful to be a mother to a beautiful angel, Joana. She filled me with so much love. Oh my God, how much love she gave me and awoke a double amount of love in me for her. The energy of her love gave me the strength enough for 3 lifetimes.
She helped me see other sides of me. She helped me grow, learn, and understand. She gave me new perspectives. And a new meaning and purpose for my life. She gave me tools for compassion and being able to understand other people’s struggles. It’s almost like she told me: take our example and go help others.
Words cannot describe how I am feeling all that I wrote today to my core. I feel feelings so strong – words cannot describe.
She was welcomed to stay 10, 20,40 years more if she wanted to. And I know she knew that too.
I enjoyed every single second with her.
Regarding this blog, I am continuing to write articles to support special parents.
I am continuing to provide pieces of advice combined with parts of our story in order to serve and tell you all over again and again: you are not alone.
And I am continuing to be at your disposal for one on one coaching to every one of you who is ready for a change and is ready to work on finding your own path of having a beautiful life no matter the circumstances.
Every ending is a new beginning.