Why Should Parents Accept Their Child’s Disabilities?
Let’s talk about why it is important to accept the fact that you have a special child. First, it brings so much peace and clarity.
If we know that we have accepted the situation, we are also aware that we struggled or have been desperate or frustrated before that.
Personally, I thought my life is going in the wrong direction, and I felt like I am in the wrong movie.
After being on a journey of personal development, I feel like I’ve come to acceptance and live my life fully: happiness, joy, and optimism. I’ve talked about these things in Our story and also in the other articles in this blog.
But I’ve never explained WHY is it important to come to acceptance. Because the reality is that not all special parents come to this peaceful place I am talking about. Some remain bitter, maybe for the rest of their lives.
I am glad that I’ve come to acceptance, because, I don’t have the right to look for reasons and count down in which aspects my life is stagnating. I don’t have the right to do that with Joana by my side. She is with us, bringing light in our lives every day just because she exists. She is sharing such beautiful energy with the world.
And she shows an amazing will to live. She survived things that today’s medicine says that a man cannot survive. Just ask Google.
She is born with an unknown diagnosis, with brain damage that was a little worse when she was 14 months compared to when she was six months old. And it’s even worse today, after the 43 degrees temperature she survived nine months ago. One of my friends, who is in the medicine department, once said, “It’s like Joana, was born to push the boundaries of the medicine. 43 Celsius fiber is a huge thing.”
It’s obvious that she just wants to live. Who cares what abilities she will have? How can I not support her with everything I can? Can you imagine for me to be sad, empty, in a dark mood because she can’t walk, can’t talk, can’t play, go to school and at the same time all she wants is for me to hug her and sing to her?
It’s such an absurd when I think about it. Picture me in a mood, “Why me? Why my child? Why is it like this? I want more for her. How could this have happened…” And she is by my side with one need only – to hug her. Imagine her sitting next to me and thinking, “Hug me, mom. It feels so nice when you hug me.” Is it worth it to miss that moment over useless worrying and self-peaty?
And is it a little thing? Doesn’t that moment make your parenting very worthy?
I ran to an excellent article on the website https://themighty.com/2019/05/parents-accept-childs-disability/.
This is written by a person with disabilities:
“I have also found that children with parents who do not accept their disability often do not accept it themselves. After all, how can a child grow to be happy with themselves if their own parents cannot help but resent the cards they have been dealt?
I am not saying that accepting disability is easy, and it certainly does not happen overnight! I am also fairly sure many parents “fake it until they make it” in the sense that they still feel devastated, but want to present their best attitude to their children. Remember though, a disability does not mean your child cannot go on to live a happy and fulfilling life – and you play a huge part in that.”
How many parents there are, that it looks to us the special parents, that they have perfect lives? We think, there, they have healthy children, so why would they worry, right?
When in fact, years and years go by, and some of them are not able to feel the beauty of the now, of this moment with their children. They are focused nonstop on some future events. They wait for their children to grow up, get to kindergarten, go to school, and go to college… Many of them don’t even think that they will feel beautiful if they stop for a minute and be consciously grateful for having an abundance of health in their home. And they should joyfully celebrate that fact.
Instead, they deal with totally different challenges in their lives. And you should know that having a healthy child is no guarantee of happiness. It’s just an illusion that maybe sometimes we say, “If I had a healthy child, I would be very happy.” But frankly, if you can’t find happiness in your situation now, as it is, chances are small that you will be happier in a less challenging situation.
Happiness is a state of mind.
It depends on where your focus is and how you look at things.
Condition for joy is living in the present moment. Being without burden from the past and without thinking of the uncertainty of the future.
Joy and happiness are being now and here, enjoying and expressing gratitude. Its endless cuddling and creating memories with our beautiful children who live their lives from a different perspective.
And who really demand very little to feel content.
How can you be sure you’ve come to an acceptance?
By the way you feel. When you can feel the relief from the long-term sadness and feel sincerely grateful for everything, you have. And when you can appreciate your child from where it is.
Then you are ready to receive more.